
Brian Wecht is most known for his role as Ninja Brian in the comedy musical duo Ninja Sex Party, which he started with his friend Dan Avidan.
He is also quite big on Twitter, and his best tweets are about his relationship with his daughter.
I have collected all the best ones here for your enjoyment, and there are more where they came from.
Enjoy 🙂
Audrey (3yo): Daddy, cast a spell on me!
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) December 24, 2017
Me: OK! This is a happy spell. It makes you happy!
*long pause*
Me: Well, did it work?
Audrey (without emotion): Daddy, look at me. Do I seem happy?
Audrey (3yo): Daddy, are there cats in the world?
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) January 28, 2018
Me: Yes. Cats exist.
Audrey: Wow
*listening to jazz station*
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) February 27, 2018
Me: Audrey, do you know what this kind of music is called?
Audrey (3yo): No!
Me: It’s call “jazz”.
Audrey: Yay! I love jazz!
Me: You do? You love jazz?
Audrey: Yeah! Jazz…min! From Aladdin!!!
Audrey (3yo): Tweet tweet!
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) March 4, 2018
Me: Aw, are you a birdy?
Audrey: Yes! I’m a mommy bird!
Me: Where are your babies?
Audrey: They’re eggs! They’re so cute!!!
Me: And is there a daddy bird?
Audrey, suddenly serious: He died a long time ago
Audrey (3yo): Daddy, I don’t love you. I can only love one person and I love mommy.@rachelwecht: Audrey, you can love lots of people.
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) January 23, 2018
Audrey: OK! I love lots of people!
Me: Yay!
Audrey: …but not daddy.
Me: Audrey, what do you want to be when you grow up?
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) November 12, 2018
Audrey (4yo): A music player, just like you!
Me: Yay!
Audrey: And I can play in your band!
Me: Yes please!
Audrey: And then when you die, I can take your place!
Me: …
Audrey (4yo): I want to make music with Danny!
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) January 29, 2019
Me: That would be fun! We could all write a song…
Audrey, interrupting: After you die. I only want to do it after you die.
Audrey (4yo): Katie wouldn’t play with me at school today!
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) July 11, 2018
Me: Oh no! What did you do?
Audrey: I sang a quiet sad song.
Audrey (4yo): Daddy! Daddy! Come here!
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) August 4, 2018
Me (entering from other room): OK, I’m here. What is it?
Audrey: Can you please leave me alone?
Audrey (4yo) and I are sitting on a couch together.
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) August 25, 2018
Audrey: You’re the best!
Me: Aw, thank you, honey.
Audrey: I WAS TALKING TO MYSELF
Audrey (4yo): Daddy, why do you write songs for money?
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) January 12, 2019
Me: Because that’s my job. Also I love doing it.
Audrey: For money?
Me: Yes, that’s how I make money, but I also just really like making music.
Audrey: For money.
Me: Yes, but…
Audrey: MOMMY, DADDY WRITES MUSIC FOR MONEY
Audrey (4yo): Daddy, what’s a god?
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) March 11, 2019
Me: A god is a very, very powerful creature.
Audrey: Like a snapping shrimp!
My 4yo just said “Daddy, here’s some of my money” and handed me one Romanian Leu. Neither my wife nor I know where she got this. pic.twitter.com/JTD0vqYRC8
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) March 3, 2019
Audrey (3yo), leaving the room: “I’ll be right back for more adventures!”
— Brian Wecht (@bwecht) November 21, 2017
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